An Ode to those Soldiers who die but are Never gone.

Mother, I know you are waiting at the doorstep.
Hoping, You can see me coming home.
I'm coming home, with Honor.
I'm being carried by four people who love my country as much as me,
Risking their lives so that our motherland can be at peace.
They have draped me in tricolor, The greatest honor a person can have.
Do not cry when you see me resting in the coffin, because I died while performing my duties, I died while protecting lives, protecting our country,
Instead I want you to be proud.
Proud of your son.
I'm always here, by your side.
I can finally rest.
What a life it was.
Those freezing nights at the Siachen Glacier,
That scorching heat in the deserts of Rajasthan,
The adventure during Kashmir floods,
The dedication during Kargil war,
The ear-wrecking rhythm of bullets at the borders
And that urge to protect our motherland from all fiends.
Do not be angry if people don't remember me.
For we are in a country where people worship actors, players and politicians, I don't want to be in the same league as them.
I have fought on the ground, in the air, Across borders, At the sea and nothing could stop me.
There is something you can boast of,
I took the bullet in my chest, facing the enemy, fighting till my last breath.
The world might not know but I died for a cause.
My life was meaningful.
I want you to make all the delicacies I love,
It's been days since I ate proper food.
I missed your cooking, I missed you feeding me from your hands.
I missed sleeping peacefully on your lap.
I missed the tender touch of your hands that used to caress me while I was sleeping.
I missed your pampering when I felt low.
I missed your nursing when I was sick.
I missed you.
Ma, I want to be born again,
And grow up being a soldier, fighting for our country.
I wish to be reborn again as a Soldier!

Wish We Never Parted!

Why does it have to be so?

The one you loved let you go.

Why did you have to be sad,

When all you had to do was go mad.

How could an angel break your heart,

Why would it have to last.

The meadows seem so bare,

I love you, when will you be aware?

Those silent screams that I wail,

Can never be heard by you, even across the sail.

The shadows seems so dark and down,

All that my happy times have for me is a frown.

My soul falls into the depths of your memories,

When you were with me it was just joy and no worries.

Down the valley lies a treasure, and that's you.

Too difficult to reach, everything's just black and blue.

Where are those promises that you made?

They won't be fulfilled even if I fade.

The wound might heal but the scars remain as a reminder,

Of those happy times with you, in whose memories I wander.

Only if you could realize how much I love you.

Only if I could look at that emptiness that sorrounds me.

Only if I could tell you how much I miss you,

How much I miss "US"

Wish those times would just come back.

Wish you would love me the same like before

Its too hard to digest the fact that you are gone.

Oh! How I wish all this was just a nightmare

And when I wake up, everything is all fine.

How I wish you come back.

How I wish it never ended.

How I wish everything was just well and fine.

How I wish you and I never parted.

The Despair In Her Eyes

A lonely one,stands apart  ,
Bidding adieu to her self  ,
Lost in your thoughts and words ,
She prays to bestow the jests ,
She claims her lost world ,
From the cruel arms of pain ,
She surrenders her head for all the wounds given to her ,
She stands dumb,when the whole world talks ,
She stays apart,when everyone walks ,
She cries through the night,when everyone sleeps in joy ,
She smiles when that Someone smiles ,
She cares when that Someone fares ,
She wishes for him when everyone blames ,
She talks for him when everyone are against ,
She prays for him,when he doesn't himself ,
Can he know my agony ?
Can he see my tears ?
Can he look past my heart ?
Can he see my Love ?
Can he understand the perspiration ?
Can he find the truth ?
Can he count the stars of tumult ?
Can he ever see ,
The Despair In My Eyes ?

Suicide : The Only Solution?

Often people end their lives for a problem that would just pass by. Is it the only solution? The only way to get you out of that problem?

I decided to write this post after I heard the news of a girl from Bishop Cottons Girls School, Bangalore, who committed suicide yesterday night. May her soul rest in peace.

So there might be many reasons why people commit suicide. Depression, Mental instability, Pressure etc etc., but the only question that comes to my mind is, is it the only solution to your problem?
No, Ending your life doesn't end your problems. Life gives you lemons and chocolates at the same time. Sometimes the journey of life is so simple and joyful whereas sometimes it is difficult. But leading a life is in taking both its ups and downs positively and making the best out of it. Sometimes a problem you face, may seem unbearable at that point of time but that doesn't mean it can't be solved. If god has given you problems that means he thinks that you worthy of facing them, don't let him down by ending your life. A decision taken at the wrong time in a hurry would lead to suffering of your loved ones throughout their lifetime. Life is precious, You have no rights to end it. No problem justifies killing one's soul. Death toll of teenagers by committing suicide is increasing day by day. Why? Is it that difficult to face problems that have come our way? It will just pass by. What has come should go. No misery is permanent, so why end yourself for a temporary issue?
Suicide is a cowardly act. Life is a game of snake and ladder, if you can't face a tough situation, suicide is not the only way. No matter what the situation is, you got to face it. That's life. This life was gifted to you by god so that you give something useful to the soceity and you end it this way? That's disrespecting your own soul.

"Winners never quit and quitters never win" - Anonymous.

That most agonistic effect of suicide is the ways it affects the people close to the victim, Parents for instance. The sight of Parents losing their child is heart wrenching. You can never imagine the pain you cause them by committing such acts. Did they live to this day? To see their child ending his/her life? Is this why they took care of you all these years with utmost care? Can any problem be greater than causing pain to your parents?

They will suffer for their whole life. Every moment. Every time you are mentioned, Everytime they look at your photos, Everytime they come up with your memories. Ending your life is betraying your parents too. What about your siblings? What would they go through?
You will be gone but who will support those hands that fed you? You will support those shoulders that carried you? Who will make those eyes happy that always wished for your happiness? Who will bring a smile to those lips that always prayed for your long and contended life? Who will take care of them? How can you be so selfish? Abondoning your parents and loved ones for something that was not so worthy at all. You don't just kill yourself but also the ones around you. Your parents will die everyday mentally. Is this what you actually wanted.

Can a problem be bigger than any of this? If suicide was the only solution then why is it illegal throughout the world? You have no rights to take away the life of anyone neither your own.
Why do people commit suicide, What might be the possible issues for taking this extreme step?

Some of the common reasons,
* FAILURE IN EXAMINATIONS/ POOR GRADES
Is this really such a big thing that it results in claiming a precious life?
No, not at all. If you fail once you still have million opportunities to succeed. Take the exam again, Come up with flying colours, Work hard and succeed. Success isn't a glass of water, It takes courage and greater perseverance to achieve it. Haven't you heard the famous saying "Failures are the stepping stone to success". No one can taste the wine of success without tasting the bitterness of failure. They are like the two faces of a single coin. Don't be discouraged, there's plenty of opportunities available in the world.

* LOVE FAILURE
Is this really even an issue? You got be happy that the person left you, because they never deserved you in their life. If it was truly love then they wouldn't have left you at the first place. If you broke up then feel happy that you got rid of someone who held no importance for you in their life. They shouldn't get importance too. Chuck them off like getting rid of a trash. Before ending your life for such a person, think about your parents. You want to ditch those who love you more than anything in this world for a shit that is of no significance at all? Can't you live for the ones who gave you life and took care that all your wishes were fulfilled. How would they feel when they realize that their child ended his life for someone who had no place in thier life? Can you imagine the trauma and agony they go through? You want your parents to go through all this? You will find someone in your life who will love just you, wait for them instead of wasting your life on someone who doesn't even deserve to cross your minds.

* BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS SCOLDED YOU
Are your insane? Ever realized why your parents scold you? You think they would win a nobel prize for scolding you? They scold you for your own good. So that you don't have to suffer problems and face troubles and is that a sin they are commiting? After doing so much for you, after raising you up and all, They don't even have a rights to say something to you which in turn is for your own good? They never want youto be spoilt or get abandoned on a wrong road. They always want the best for you. Care for them instead of feeling bad for what they say and punishing them in a way that they suffer their whole life. Same with the case of teachers. They scold you so that you become a better citizen for this country and a good child for your parents. Is that bad? No.

Concluding,
Suicide is never the solution for any problem in the world. Courage lies in facing it and winning the situation. Any trouble is not permanent. Whenever you feel low or depressed talk to someone, Talk to your parents, they would always help you no matter how worse the situation is. No one would deny helping you out if you approach. Talk about your problems to someone close to you so that the burden on your heart is lifted. If you hide your feelings it gets multiplied and reaches to a point where such dreadful actions feel the only way out, so don't lock yourself up. Try to be happy and face any obstacle that comes up. Lead your life worthfully. Life is  Precious, Protect it.

Complete the journey of life with a smile and a positive attitude emanating from you that sets you as an example for achieving greatness.

What Is Love?

A lonely one,stands apart  ,
Bidding adieu to her self  ,
Lost in your thoughts and words ,
She prays to bestow the jests ,
She claims her lost world ,
From the cruel arms of pain ,
She surrenders her head for all the wounds given to her ,
She stands dumb,when the whole world talks ,
She stays apart,when everyone walks ,
She cries through the night,when everyone sleeps in joy ,
She smiles when that Someone smiles ,
She cares when that Someone fares ,
She wishes for him when everyone blames ,
She talks for him when everyone are against ,
She prays for him,when he doesn't himself ,
Can he know my agony ?
Can he see my tears ?
Can he look past my heart ?
Can he see my Love ?
Can he understand the perspiration ?
Can he find the truth ?
Can he count the stars of tumult ?
Can he ever see ,
The Despair In My Eyes ?

Alive but Dead !

At some point of time you realise that life is not anymore the way you thought it to be.
That's when you grow up to be strong , independent and confident.
That's when you know that there's only you for yourself.
Times that teach you a lot. Times that makes you want to forget everything that happened.
The good things , the best things and the worst. You can survive with your bad memories because they would make you strong but living with those past-happy memories , while they aren't going to happen again , that's when you crash down , that's when you collapse to the ground , that's when you get weak and powerless and soulless.
That's when you are completely torn apart , into pieces and the worst part is when you know , those pieces cannot be put back again and even though you try , there are cracks that can never be filled .
The emptiness that will never go. The hole in your heart that will never heal. And that's when you start faking everything , your laugh , smile and happiness because you forgot them very long back.
You may try to act normal , but the fact remains that you are no more yourself . The strange reality , the heart wrenching reality that you will never be you again .
All that was left of you was stolen by that person leaving you in a complete darkness . You search for a way out , search for a single ray of light but you fail everytime and the only thing you do is break down all the time.
Every second you crave for your lost soul . Every night you long for an ever-lasting sleep but all in vain ! You wont be able to close your eyes for a moment too , because all you see in that blinding and blurred image is him , his face , him breaking your heart with a cruel , strong hammer and all you can do is just stand at a distance and yell to him to stop that , but he cant hear you , he wont hear you. He has stopped doing that , He has finally stopped listening to you , nothing you do would stop him and you wake up screaming in pain and then you realize why your eyes and your pillow is all wet ! They are the symbol of the agony in your heart.
He has blocked himself , hidden himself behind a glass wall , opaque to your feelings , opaque to your heart , opaque to your tears . He wont  see your pain , he wont hear your shouts .
It's over now , everything is over .  Everything is done , leaving you alone in the midst of that wonderful meadow he had made.
Then you shudder , like trying to free yourself from the trap of those terrifying nightmares , you feel like running away , you feel like shouting out , yelling for help , but all that comes out he a squeal . Your lungs wont let you breathe , you feel choked , smothered but that's how you will be for the rest of your life . Those are the times where you want to stop breathing but that's not your choice anymore.
Waves of pain rise tall in front of you and before you know , you are drowned in them , the current so powerful , you cant even swim against them , you're stuck , stuck up in the depths of sorrow , misery and agony.
How could an angel break your heart? You wonder how long this could last , months? years? or forever?
If only the pain would decrease a little so that you would try to get over with it , but it wont . You stand at the precipice , just one wrong foot and you are gone , down into the shallows , down into those never-ending depths of pain , down into those valleys of nothingness .
At some point of time you realize that you are never going to be the same again. That's when you wish you never loved , because it wouldn't have killed you like it did now. That's the time when you realize that the world is no more yours.
That's when you grow up but you wish you never did .
That's the time when you DIE even when you are ALIVE !

Shattered ..

Remember all those things you promised to me ?  You always used to say you would never leave my side no matter what . Where did that promise go ? Was that a sin or a crime or an offense i committed ? Well , i was always scared to lose you and look , finally i'm having my worst nightmares . You knew you were the only one i was happy to have and is that the reason why you chose to leave me ? So that i would be unhappy throughout my life ?
You may think its easy for me to forget you , like it was for you to forget me , but let me say this , its IMPOSSIBLE for me . How could you even forget everything that was between us within seconds . All sorts of things you called me , the way you behaved with me .. how could you ? and then you ask me to be happy ? how can you even expect that . Remember my last birthday ? those words you told to me ? I still remember each of it . That day i was all alone , but i wasnt unhappy for i knew i had you with me and i could face the whole world , but who would make me feel special on my birthday this time ? who would be with me this time . How can i live without you ? How could you even expect me to do this ? How could  you change the word 'Shonu' to 'Bitch' in days ? Why doesnt it mean anything to you . If ever you loved me , how could you start hating me like this ? Even after everything , why am i not able to hate you ?
If you wanted to do all this , why didnt you let me go at the first . Dont you remember all that we used to talk . Dont you even care about how much i love you ? Dont you even care about how much i have been shattered by you . Was this the only thing i deserved ? After loving you unconditionally ? Girl like me ? What did i do for you to say like that ? Did i ever flirt with any other guy ? Did i ever use you ? Did i ever take advantage of you ? Then what do you mean by girl like me ?
Tell me my mistake , was just a reason for you leave me . The major reason is that you cant face your parents . Let me tell you one thing , if ever you really had loved , anything wouldn't have mattered . What i am , who i am , or how i am .. This would be of no importance . One thing is for sure , you broke a girl completed , now she wont even be able to love herself  forever . Now she wont be able to love anything , She wont live , may be she would , but just apparently , just to show that she is alive . She will never be alive by heart . Her tears didnt move you even slightly , how could you be so harsh ? She is SHATTERED by you , yes by you , completely shattered . What if she had done the same thing to you ? You are lucky enough , you dont have to suffer your whole life now . But she will , every second of her life . Yes , you took away everything you gave her 8 months back , her smile , her happiness and her life . Thanks to you , she wont be happy ever in her life now . You killed her brutally . She wont be herself ever again . Thanks to you . She is now completed torn to pieces and SHATTERED .