At some point of time you realise that life is not anymore the way you thought it to be.
That's when you grow up to be strong , independent and confident.
That's when you know that there's only you for yourself.
Times that teach you a lot. Times that makes you want to forget everything that happened.
The good things , the best things and the worst. You can survive with your bad memories because they would make you strong but living with those past-happy memories , while they aren't going to happen again , that's when you crash down , that's when you collapse to the ground , that's when you get weak and powerless and soulless.
That's when you are completely torn apart , into pieces and the worst part is when you know , those pieces cannot be put back again and even though you try , there are cracks that can never be filled .
The emptiness that will never go. The hole in your heart that will never heal. And that's when you start faking everything , your laugh , smile and happiness because you forgot them very long back.
You may try to act normal , but the fact remains that you are no more yourself . The strange reality , the heart wrenching reality that you will never be you again .
All that was left of you was stolen by that person leaving you in a complete darkness . You search for a way out , search for a single ray of light but you fail everytime and the only thing you do is break down all the time.
Every second you crave for your lost soul . Every night you long for an ever-lasting sleep but all in vain ! You wont be able to close your eyes for a moment too , because all you see in that blinding and blurred image is him , his face , him breaking your heart with a cruel , strong hammer and all you can do is just stand at a distance and yell to him to stop that , but he cant hear you , he wont hear you. He has stopped doing that , He has finally stopped listening to you , nothing you do would stop him and you wake up screaming in pain and then you realize why your eyes and your pillow is all wet ! They are the symbol of the agony in your heart.
He has blocked himself , hidden himself behind a glass wall , opaque to your feelings , opaque to your heart , opaque to your tears . He wont see your pain , he wont hear your shouts .
It's over now , everything is over . Everything is done , leaving you alone in the midst of that wonderful meadow he had made.
Then you shudder , like trying to free yourself from the trap of those terrifying nightmares , you feel like running away , you feel like shouting out , yelling for help , but all that comes out he a squeal . Your lungs wont let you breathe , you feel choked , smothered but that's how you will be for the rest of your life . Those are the times where you want to stop breathing but that's not your choice anymore.
Waves of pain rise tall in front of you and before you know , you are drowned in them , the current so powerful , you cant even swim against them , you're stuck , stuck up in the depths of sorrow , misery and agony.
How could an angel break your heart? You wonder how long this could last , months? years? or forever?
If only the pain would decrease a little so that you would try to get over with it , but it wont . You stand at the precipice , just one wrong foot and you are gone , down into the shallows , down into those never-ending depths of pain , down into those valleys of nothingness .
At some point of time you realize that you are never going to be the same again. That's when you wish you never loved , because it wouldn't have killed you like it did now. That's the time when you realize that the world is no more yours.
That's when you grow up but you wish you never did .
That's the time when you DIE even when you are ALIVE !
